J.D. and Usha Vance Went to Greenland. It Did Not Appear to Go Well.

“You want me to snap that pic so you can all be in it? Here, let me take it.” Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

Last weekend, second lady Usha Chilukuri Vance shared an Instagram video from the White House announcing an upcoming trip to Greenland and offering a “special message” for its America-hating residents. Clad in a white suit and speaking extremely monotonically into the camera, Vance informed her viewers that she would be visiting Kalaallit Nunaat in time for the autonomous Danish territory’s Avannaata Qimussersua dog sledding race, which the United States is sponsoring. “I’m also coming to celebrate the long history of mutual respect and cooperation between our nations, and to express hope that our relationship will only grow stronger in the coming years,” Vance concluded. “I look forward to meeting many of you soon.”

The video may have been intended as a message of goodwill, but that’s not how it was received by Danes, Greenlanders, or really anybody. (I mean, just look at the Instagram comments.) The announcement was coupled with the news that Vance would be traveling with other U.S. officials like national security adviser and group-chat-emoji-enthusiast Mike Waltz. This, Greenland’s prime minister claimed, was a “highly aggressive” move, especially in light of President Donald Trump’s relentless threats to annex Greenland. (Trump, for his part, claimed that this diplomacy was a gesture of “friendliness, not provocation,” before once again insisting that “we have to have Greenland.”)

Things got even hairier when Usha’s execrable husband, Vice President J.D. Vance, declared on Tuesday that he’d be joining the second lady, because “there was so much excitement around Usha’s visit to Greenland this Friday that I decided that I didn’t want her to have all that fun by herself.” As the week progressed, a bunch of Greenland companies and locals that had committed to meeting with Usha Vance dropped those plans like an icy snowball, shrinking the Vances’ planned travel itinerary rather significantly. No dog sled race for you!

So what did come of the Greenland visit when the Vance couple touched down on Friday? Well, see for yourself:

J.D. Vance waving at a lamentable amount of people upon his and Usha Vance’s arrival in Greenland. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

They came from far and wide. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

J.D. Vance speaking boisterously to a fraction of a throng in Greenland. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

After rapturously greeting all the Greenlanders who wanted them there (none), the Vances and their entourage proceeded to the one area where they were welcome: the Pituffik Space Base, which is staffed with American troops, owned by the U.S. Space Force, and known as “one of the most remote military installations in the world,” per the New York Times. In other words, it’s far away from the people of Greenland.

Greenland really rolled out the welcome mat. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

Well, except for a protester or two, naturally.

“Get close, dear! So we can get the snow in the background!” Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

Yep, that’s more snow. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

In the base itself, the vice president made the astute observation that it was “cold as shit” here and gave a speech that mostly railed against Denmark for not protecting Greenland and its vast natural resources “from a lot of very aggressive incursions from Russia, from China, and from other nations.” While he did not repeat Trump’s explicit military threats, Vance did encourage the Greenland independence movement from Denmark and also went off, naturally, about tariffs, claiming the U.S. could help the island territory avoid “economic exploitation” by Europe.

U.S. national security adviser Mike Waltz flipping through a fictionally lengthy itinerary and thinking about Signal. Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

After a grand total of a few hours, the Vances then flew back to the States, still loathed by Greenlanders—and by Americans. A recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll found that only 19 percent of Americans support annexing Greenland; another European poll found that only 6 percent of Greenlanders would be interested in joining the U.S. When you consider that Greenland has a population of about 57,000, you realize just how tiny that number is.

“I mean, why do they even call it Greenland? Dude, everything is white. Am I right?” Jim Watson/Pool/Getty Images

It’s not that Greenlanders don’t want to secede from Denmark—they just don’t want to become a U.S. state in turn. And who can blame them? Have you seen the guys in the White House?

Anyway, have fun with this new batch of photos, kids.

Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily.